A friend of mine is at her wit's end applying for jobs from bartending to babysitting to vet teching. She found a job opportunity as an ice cream truck driver and wrote the most blatantly honest, hilarious cover letter. I've always wanted to write a cover letter saying exactly what I think without the polished corporate speak. I simply had to share.
"I actually have experience driving an ice cream truck. I really do.
Back in the day (1997), I drove an ancient '56 International stepvan around inner city Portland, to the tune of 'The Entertainer', or 'Turkey in the Straw', selling crappy manufactured ice cream bars to impoverished youth. Executing a 27 point turn on a dead end street without killing any one member of the mob of children surrounding the truck speaks volumes for my skills. Ask my friend John Bruno, he owned the company. there were 2 other trucks, a Ford and a Chevy, but the International was my personal favorite. It looked like something out of Toontown.
So, suffice it to say, I am qualified. I also have excellent navigational skills, and know northern California, Oregon, and much of Washington state quite well already.
I have other experience: I am a self-employed horse trainer, and have been a: bartender, cowgirl, barista, veterinary technician, organic farmer, (am still an) excellent party host, have taken EMT courses, speak Spanish, am a world traveler, have lived off-the-grid, out of my car, and out of a tent, can change a tire, change oil and spark plugs, jump start a vehicle, drive a 1 ton truck with bumper-pull or gooseneck trailer, can (in a minor emergency) doctor humans and various other animals, understand the importance of local, sustainable, organic, biodynamic, perma-cultured, fair-trade, humanitarian enterprises, am radically in favor of aforementioned enterprises, can talk to anyone about anything, enjoy adventure, make friends easily, network expertly, know someone almost everywhere, play the banjo (badly), and would absolutely love to do this job."
They'd be fools not to hire her! What's the weirdest job you ever applied for?